Zidane’s Head-butt
That was a great World Cup Final. Unfortunately for Italy, the talk today is of Zidane’s head-butting Marco Materazzi in his chest. What the hell just happened?
I know nothing, but I think players develop reputations during their club careers and gossip about players spread like wild fire. Materazzi knew what would set Zidane off and bated him into it. Zidane has a history of being a hothead. And his actions yesterday ensured that it would forever be part of his legacy.
I’m trying to think of hypothetical equivalents to what happened yesterday:
- Mark Messier taking the blade of his ice skate and kicking Pavel Bure in the groin during Game 7 of the 1994 Stanley Cup Finals.
- Michael Jordan slamming Kevin Johnson’s head into the hardwood on a breakaway layup during the 1993 NBA Finals.
- Walter Payton dragging Carl Banks five yards down the field by his facemask, taking his helmet off, and then repeatedly kick him in the head with his foot (no, wait… that would have been endearing).
- The Undertaker throwing Mick Foley off a 30 foot steel cage onto the announcer’s table (Wait- that did happen. AND it was endearing).
- John Elway, trailing 20-13 with 5:13 to play and 98 yards away from the end zone while playing in Cleveland Stadium, leads the Denver Broncos to an improbable come from behind victory over the Cleveland Browns to earn a spot in the Super Bowl (whoops- that wasn’t a hypothetical situation OR a situation that involved violence. I have no idea why I put this in).
In other news, Michael Jordan is being sued by a guy from Oregon for looking too much like him. He wants over $800 million in damages because everyday for the past 15 years he has been “accused of looking like Michael”. I hope he wins and sets a precedent. I think Michael Bolton from Office Space should sue “that singer guy” Michael Bolton on the grounds that the singer is a “no talent ass clown”.
Last night, I went to see The Faculty Room at the Woolly Mammoth Theater Company in Penn Quarter with the Special Lady Friend, Ms. Frum. It was entertaining and fun to see a play, but the play itself was a little much. It took every single bad stereotype about schools and rolled them all up into a very convoluted screenplay. It was supposed to be more about the characters than the plot itself, but this was ridiculous. Daily gun confiscations, teachers having sex with students, teachers buying drugs from students, and an Armageddon shootout was a lot to manage. The theatre was pretty cool and it was a good time, and I might have to go back for the One Man Star Wars Trilogy.
posted by His Eminence at 10:58
4 Comments:
Dude, not cool.
Zidane pulled a Munson, that's all you had to say. Funny reference to Kingpin and everyone gets a chuckle. Instead, you bring up the drive, when a better analogy would have been the Earnest Byner fumble.
The Yakubsins are moving and DirecTV and the NFL package may be in our future. Do you really want to push my buttons on this? Now?
Zidane vaulted up to second on my list of favourite footballers, although he is still well behind the incomparable Wayne Rooney. I love that guy because no one talks about the "beautiful game" in reference to him.
With the exception of the Zidane head-butt, this World Cup lacked something. The inconsistent refs, guys looking for calls, and the boring, defensive style of play reminded me of a hockey game between the Devils and the Stars circa 1998.
I think this World Cup proved once in for all that soccer needs to be a lot more like hockey and change the game when it gets stale. Think about these improvements from hockey, essentially the same sport with less guys and played on ice:
- Adding offsides lines to each side of the field would open up the offense. Offsides obliterates so many chances for exciting plays, let the offense be more creative once they are in position to score.
- Fights would allow players to police themselves and prevent the ridiculous dives or dangerous fouls. With fighting, Zidane probably wouldn't have been provoked, but if the same thing happened, pandemonium! It would have been a brawl with international repercussions!
- A penalty box, are you telling me that wouldn't work better than the silly cards? Even lacrosse has a penalty box! How can soccer ignore this? Power plays would force the team with the advantage to push, instead of hang back and shut down the other team completely.
12:41 PM, July 10, 2006
I just wanted to tweak you... you left early yesterday. I know pregnant wife... blah blah blah. But I didn't get to harass you nearly enough. This is my forum... my outlet.
Most of your points are well taken. I know the Hooters United Team had a goon to take care of people who roughed up our "stars". Synonyms for "stars" include midgets, wee people, pretentious Frenchmen, balding kids who wished they graduated a Terp, etc...
What would have been great is if Zidane took off his shoe and started crying like a real meltdown of Baumer proportions.
3:16 PM, July 10, 2006
You've decided to provoke more than a few today. Thank you for bringing up painful memories of the 1993 Suns. I'm still embarassed that we threw a monstorous downtown party for a team that finished second.
3:31 PM, July 10, 2006
I think your initial attacks were only an attempt to deflect any criticism for attending a play. Did you have a black turtleneck in your closet or did you have to go buy one before your big evening out with the drama club?
4:13 PM, July 10, 2006
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